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CARNIVORES REPORT TO PRACTICE
First Week of Camp Reveals Fierce Offense, Ferocious Appetites
The Carnivores reported to their very first week of training camp this week, amid much fanfare and media presence. In front of hundreds of crazed fans and dozens of mud-slinging sportswriters and over-scripted sportscasters, the Carnivores unveiled their first offensive formations to much awe and praise.
The first string offense wowed the crowd with an astounding array of running and passing plays. "We stuff 'em in the gut with the run, then stick 'em in the teeth with the pass," said Carnivores offensive coordinator Buck Salt. "We're gonna eat defenses for lunch this season."
Apparently, defenses aren't the only thing this offense eats. Wednesday morning, Carnivores training staff invited the press to feast their eyes upon the Carnivores morning training table, a veritable mountain of football-fueling food. Among one of the highlights was a table tray with over 320 Jack in the Box® Breakfast Sandwiches. By the end of our visit, just twenty minutes later, only two remained.
As for whether or not the Carnivores get a special discount on their food because of the relationship with their quick-serving owner? O'Reese says: "No comment on that one."
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